I was 21 and I met an older man he was in his early 30s and we started texting.
It was the same old shit and fake promises of how we would be happy and start a family etc to begin with..I had no idea what was about to come until one night my flat mate and I were having drinks and a few of our guy friends were with us. I was talking to him on the phone and he started questioning who was at my house and why were they there.
After hours and hours of back and forward texting and ringing I started to realise what he was truly like.
Then when he would come stay he would question my dresses or shorts and tops I was wearing. Why was I wearing makeup to work etc. I remember one day saying i was going to ride my bike to work but decided to walk instead. He had seen my ex boyfriend at the end of my street (I had no idea he was even there) who i hadn't been with for over 12m and started accusing me of meeting up with him and cheating on him. And this again went on for hours, accusation after accusation. I finally reached breaking point and decided to leave him except he was living at my house by this stage. We got into an argument over god knows what I can't even remember and I asked him to leave, and that's when he flipped..smashed up a couple of things of his that were In my room and my flatmate came home to find me curled up sobbing uncontrollably on my bed with him just going at me. One thing he said when I told him I didn't want to be with him any more was "but it's your birthday tomorrow" "don't do this" "I'll change" all the bullshit these bastards spin to try keep you under their control. Anyway my flatmate got him to pack his things and ring someone to come get him as he had no car. He sat outside and waited for them. But that wasn't the end of it. The texts kept coming, and coming and coming. Until I went to the police and ordered a restraining order on him. Which led to the police doing drive bys past my house just to make sure I was safe. I got access to his police file and I read over 5 pages of his criminal record. And I was horrified. Sworn off men for what I thought was going to be forever. Then a couple weeks later we had a party at our flat and I met my current partner and baby daddy...I'm so glad I didn't let his actions put me off as I wouldn't have what I have now which was what I always dreamed of, my own family.