Breakups are hard for whatever reason, trying to separate yourself from someone you’ve spent, even a small amount of time connecting and being yourself around is difficult.
It doesn’t matter if they were good or bad to you, if you felt a certain way about them it is just fucking hard to stop those feelings for them.
Relationships have so many other factors to consider, but as a general rule, break ups are pretty shit.
Someone, if not both people will be hurt, and this can often lead to either party lashing out, playing up or being manipulative. Try not to engage or instigate this, keep your head and don’t react. You only ever regret things you do when your emotional and in the moment.
I’m no relationship expert, I don’t think I’ve ever had a perfect relationship so my views on how relationships work is probably quite different to most.
I have stayed in relationships that I knew were unhealthy, I have been the unhealthy factor in a relationship.
But there are a few things I have learnt about break ups that make them easier in my opinion, and this is why I have been inspired to write this post.
Obviously, these could completely not work for you, so take whatever I say with a grain of salt.
I can recall one of my earliest break ups and I thought my life was over, of Corse at the time I thought he was everything, and because he didn’t want me anymore I was devastated…. I probably cried in my room for a week and begged him to take me back…I would’ve asked myself what was so wrong with me, was I bad, did I do something?
Could I imagine myself with that guy now? NO FUCKING WAY
So that’s the first lesson; Time gives your perspective.
Time is a great solver of many problems in life; essentially, we forget a little and this helps us to move past of intense feelings in any situation.
You are probably not going to feel better after one day, one week maybe not even a month, but you will feel better and it will get easier.
The fact is we give others so much power over our happiness, we forget that we were fine before they came along and we will be fine after.
Space is also hugely important, if you broke up for good reason and then you have to see the guy everyday a work, or a team sport it’s going to fuck with you, you can’t just turn your feelings off completely, I can’t anyway.
So, for me I’d rather not see the person, every day, this is where the Facebook feature for hiding things from your timeline comes in handy. Alternatively, if you broke up and you want to remove them from your life completely hit unfriend whatever works for you.
Thirdly and most importantly focus to yourself….
LADIES seriously on this one! focus to your damn self, even if you hate it and you just want to curl up in a ball and look at photos of him all day.
Get your ass up and do something that makes you feel good, go see your girls, have sleep overs, go on road trips.
Make sure you also eat well, and take care of yourself, please don’t get all self-destructive and go out on a binge and do something you will regret later, because self-loathing and breakups just isn’t a good mix.
Also, kindly ask your friends not to go over the situation and over analyse everything, or getting into mad discussions about what he’s up to now, or why or how or what you could’ve done different it doesn’t matter now.
Breakups are not a time to compromise, get back together and loose more of yourself.
Be kind and logical when possible, if you or the other person has decided to break up and there’s a valid reason, then there is no reason to fight or be cruel to one another breakups are hard enough as they are, you can be kind.
Take time out to be with yourself also, I love doing guided meditations and listening to self-help books, I’m currently listening to “You can heal your life” by Louise Hay.
I’ve also gotten back into walking early in the morning to help clear my head and start the day of feeling full of energy, this needs to be accompanied by a good playlist and I’m loving songs by Tash Sultana, Joe Hertz and Two Feet right now.
I don’t know if any of this is helpful my 16-year-old self would call this article bullshit, but for anyone in their late 20’s with a level and logical mind I think there could be some great tips in here.
Let me know what you think in the comments section xx